A Love Through Time (found in my mind)

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To others, this may be a strange point to make — does it not check all the boxes? In particular, the romantic and tragic aspects initially work in this play as distinct separate parts. From the get-go, I was ready to hate the play. However, with time, I was exposed to more Shakespeare, and I got a better hang of his style, his narratives and his importance; eventually, I even grew to LIKE his plays.

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So, what happened? Was middle-school me really just that wrong about storytelling? Yes he was. I still believe that. Any young, scrappy writer looking for their wings tends to take a potshot at this easy target. However, some of these criticisms are still worth echoing.

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The two fall in love at a single glance, they hardly understand anything about their likes and dislikes… these kids barely even manage to hold a conversation before deciding they need to get married. If you ask me, Mercutio and Benvolio have more chemistry — they talk more at least. Shakespeare hardly takes the linear approach. There must be something here that makes this play worth the three and a half hours.

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The bulk of the romance we have discussed earlier is present in Act One; a comparatively lighter, more comedic part compared to the more famous, grittier aspects in Act Two. In such cases, limerence may form as a defense mechanism against the limerent object, who is not perceived initially as a romantic ideal, but as a physical threat to the limerent. Sexual fantasies are distinct from limerent fantasies.

Limerent fantasy is rooted in reality and is intrusive rather than voluntary. Sexual fantasies are under more or less voluntary control and may involve strangers, imaginary individuals, and situations that could not take place. Limerence elevates body temperature and increases relaxation, [26] a sensation of viewing the world with rose-tinted glasses , leading to a greater receptiveness to sexuality, and to daydreaming. People can become aroused by the thought of sexual partners, acts, and situations that are not truly desired, whereas every detail of the limerent fantasy is passionately desired actually to take place.

The limerent reaction is a composite reaction — that is, it is composed of a series of separate reactions. These reactions occur only where misperceptions meet adversity in the context of a romance. Only if the limerent object were to be revealed as highly undesirable might limerence subside.

The presence of some degree of doubt causes the intensity of the feelings to increase further. The stage is reached at which the reaction is virtually impossible to dislodge. This adversity may be superficial or deep, internal or external, so that an individual may sometimes generate deep adversity where none exists.

Also "romance", as it were, need not be present in any genuine way for a limerent reaction to occur. The course of limerence results in a more intrusive thinking pattern. Then, under appropriate conditions of hope and uncertainty, the limerence intensifies further. With evidence of reciprocation real or imagined from the limerent object, a state of extreme pleasure, even euphoria, is enjoyed. Thoughts are mainly occupied with considering and reconsidering what is attractive in the limerent object, replaying whatever events may have thus far transpired with the limerent object, and appreciating personal qualities perceived as possibly having sparked interest in the limerent object.

At peak crystallization, almost all waking thoughts revolve around the limerent object. After this peak, the feelings eventually decline. Fantasies are preferred to virtually any other activity with the exception of activities that are believed to help obtain the limerent object, and activities that involve actually being in the presence of the limerent object.

The motivation to attain a "relationship" continues to intensify so long as a proper mix of hope and uncertainty exist. Tennov estimates, based on both questionnaire and interview data, that the average limerent reaction duration, from the moment of initiation until a feeling of neutrality is reached, is approximately three years. The extremes may be as brief as a few weeks or as long as several decades.

When limerence is brief, maximum intensity may not have been attained. According to David Sack, M. Others suggest that 'the biogenetic sourcing of limerence determines its limitation, ordinarily, to a two-year span', [31] that limerence generally lasts between 18 months and three years; but further studies on unrequited limerence have suggested longer durations.

In turn, a limerent may only experience a single limerent episode, or may experience "serial" episodes, in which nearly one's entire mature life, from early puberty through late adulthood, can be consumed in successive limerent obsessions. Once the limerent reaction has initiated, one of three varieties of bonds may form, defined over a set duration of time, in relation to the experience or non-experience of limerence.

The basis and interesting characteristic of this delineation made by Tennov, is that based on her research and interviews with people, all human bonded relationships can be divided into three varieties being defined by the amount of limerence or non-limerence each partner contributes to the relationship. With an affectional bond, neither partner is limerent.


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With a Limerent-Nonlimerent bond, one partner is limerent. In a Limerent-Limerent bond, both partners are limerent. Affectional bonding characterize those affectionate sexual relationships where neither partner is limerent; couples tend to be in love, but do not report continuous and unwanted intrusive thinking, feeling intense need for exclusivity, or define their goals in terms of reciprocity. These types of bonded couples tend to emphasize compatibility of interests, mutual preferences in leisure activities, ability to work together, and in some cases a degree of relative contentment.

The bulk of relationships, however, according to Tennov, are those between a limerent person and a nonlimerent other, i. These bonds are characterized by unequal reciprocation. Lastly, those relationship bonds in which there exists mutual reciprocation are defined as limerent-limerent bondings. Tennov argues that since limerence itself is an "unstable state", mutually limerent bonds would be expected to be short-lived; mixed relationships probably last longer than limerent-limerent relationships.

Some limerent-limerent relationships evolve into affectional bondings over time as limerence declines. Tennov describes such couples as "old marrieds" whose interactions are typically both stable and mutually gratifying.

Tennov's research was continued in by Albert Wakin, who knew Tennov at the University of Bridgeport but did not assist in her research, and Duyen Vo, a graduate student. The term "limerence" has been invoked in many popular media, [ according to whom? They reported that more research must be gathered before the condition is suitable for inclusion in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM.

Critics point out that Tennov's account "is based on interviews rather than on direct observation", but conclude that "despite its shortcomings, Tennov's work may constitute a basis for informed hypothesis formulation". From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Not to be confused with Liminality. For the film, see Limerence film. This article has multiple issues. Please help improve it or discuss these issues on the talk page. Learn how and when to remove these template messages.

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